Well, four words anyway.

Here’s the full Happytown™ article.

(If you feel like posting a comment, please do so on the article page.)

And here’s the Brian Feldman Marries Anybody* Facebook Event.

• Started my third project of 2010 on Thursday afternoon, The Swan Boat Talks. The project features individual one hour talks with 10 Orlando artists I have yet to work with – on a swan boat in the middle of Lake Eola Park. My first talk, with Orange County Art Czar Terry Olson, went quite well. In fact, it was almost Shakespearean! Better still, it wasn’t as cold as forecasted – even on the water. Nine more talks to go. And then the fun part – Work. (The event poster wasn’t 100% completed until Friday morning and won’t be printed until Monday, but I think it turned out rather well. Thank you, Dad.)

• It might snow tonight! Yes, in Orlando. Been keeping an eye on Facebook, Twitter and various website weather updates. In the event it actually does snow, I’ll be sure to go outside for that “Can’t miss” event. Otherwise, not happening; because according to weather.com, it feels like 35ºF outside right now. According to the thermostat behind me, it’s 70ºF inside. I don’t fare well in the cold weather (bloody knuckles, etc.).

• Today is Toys “R” Jozie®! While I previously described the event as a Jozie Ginader performance art piece, the truth is, it’s actually a Dan Ginader conceptual art piece, starring his daughter, Jozie®. (And yes, her name is a registered trademark with the United States Patent and Trademark Office.) It received zero advance mainstream media coverage. I sent Dan a message suggesting that next time he write “Brian Feldman presents” at the top of his press release. His response? “I’ll make sure to make it a Brian Feldman Project next time.” Here, the Facebook Event page. (And we all know how accurate those RSVP numbers are!) I certainly hope some people show up.

• I’m not a fan of payola [curated] art shows. And yet, I’ve been going back and forth, debating whether or not to submit an entry for next month’s 1st Thursdays event at Orlando Museum of Art. The deadline is tomorrow [Sunday] at 4pm, and it costs $25 to enter. The theme for February is Art from the Heart, and it’s billed as “having to do with love and all things of and from the heart.” My original submission concept, devised back in June 2009, is no longer viable. However, I have two new things I’d really like to do. Perhaps I’ll submit my entry with a note instead of the money and see how the Curating Committee responds. If they reject my submission, I’m probably the only artist in town foolish enough to (want to) try and stage a parallel event opposite 1st Thursdays.

You see, the usual models are, well… models. I’ve never modeled before.* I’ve never even watched an episode of “America’s Next Top Model” before! Will the artists in attendance tonight revolt? Will I? Only one way to find out…

Dr. Sketchy’s Orlando

Wednesday, January 6, 2010 from 8-10pm

Tatáme Sake Lounge – 223 W Fairbanks Ave Winter Park FL 32789 (corner of S New York Ave; up the street from Frames Forever & Art Gallery)

It’s $5 for artists, but free for gawkers. The event’s supercool organizer, Tamara Gray (who I’ve yet to meet IRL), encourages early arrival so you have plenty of time to grab a seat and start a bar tab.

RSVP on Facebook

You’ve been warned.

*Previous stationary and “runway” performances do not count.

Here’s how Dan described it on the show (from the press release he wrote):

“Orlando’s premiere preschool-aged performance artist, Jozie Ginader, will embark on her first public performance. She has been given $15 dollars to buy anything she wants at Toys “R” Us®. Her parents and spectators will have no say in what she purchases. Even if Jozie picks a Bratz™ doll, toy gun, inappropriately aged toy, or any other item her parents normally wouldn’t let her buy. It’s called Toys “R” Jozie®.”

So there you have it! My #1 competition in Orlando is a three year old.

Toys “R” Jozie®

Saturday, January 9, 2010 @ 2pm

Toys “R” Us® #8725 – 730 Herndon Ave Orlando FL 32803 (next to Orlando Fashion Square mall)

RSVP on Facebook

And how’s this for incentive? The first ten people get a Toys “R” Jozie® commemorative button! I’m there.

This performance is not endorsed by Toys “R” Us®.

• Thomas Thorspecken’s Analog Artist Digital World

• Darren Watson’s OrlandoHireMe.com (no longer online)

• Voci Dance’s iMove//dance/blog/art_ @ Say It Loud Orange Studio

• Doug Rhodehamel’s Night Of A Thousand Jellyfish @ CityArts Factory

• Jessica Earley’s Blunder Bungle @ Museum of My Neighbor’s Backyard (MoMNB)

• Pat Greene’s Garage Sale w/ Gene Slacks: Garage Sale Comic @ 209 Hibiscus Court

• Andrew Connor and Mike Mathieu’s The Cody Rivers Show presents: Meanwhile Everywhere @ Orlando Fringe

• Jeremy Seghers’ The Amazing Adventures of Normal People in 3D @ Orlando Fringe

• Ivan Riascos’ 100 Days in a Blink of an Eye @ Stardust Video and Coffee

• Mark Baratelli’s Let’s Hear It For The Boy (Facebook Video)

• Justin Ward Weber’s La Noche de Fuego (Young Composers Challenge) @ Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre

• Dr. Geek’s “What’s Your Name?” (various times, various downtown locations)

What were your Favorite Orlando Events of 2009?